Out with the old and in with the new...
I love this time of year, its a time for renewal.
And top ten list time.
Here is a list of banned phrases/words from the previous year. Phrases are banished for
---------------------------------------
Banned phrases from 2005
---------------------------------------
SURREAL – One part opiate of the masses, 13 parts overuse. Oddly, news anchor and television small talk is becoming more surreal. “Dreams are surreal, not daily adjectives.”
HUNKER DOWN – To brace oneself, in anticipation of media onslaught. Trotted out in reports about everything from politics to hurricanes. “I have a hankering to ban all of this hunkering.”
PERSON OF INTEREST – Found within the context of legal commentary, but seldom encountered at cocktail parties. “People with guns want to talk with you.” – Melissa Carroll from Greensboro, NC. “Does this mean the rest of us are too boring to deal with?”
COMMUNITY OF LEARNERS – A five-dollar phrase on a nickel-errand. Value-added into many higher education mission statements. “Not to be confused with ‘school.'”
UP OR DOWN VOTE – A casualty of today's partisanship. No discussion on this one; the committee just tossed a coin. “I see a bright future for ex-senators as elevator operators.”
BREAKING NEWS – Once it stopped presses. Now it's a lower-intestinal condition brought about by eating dinner during newscasts. “Now they have to interrupt my supper to tell me that Katie Holmes is pregnant.”
DESIGNER BREED – Many nominators consider this a bastardization of dog breeding. It may be a good line to use on angry neighbors when an un-neutered dog escapes. “When you mate a miniature schnauzer to a toy poodle, it's not a ‘Schnoodle,' it's a mongrel.”
FEMA – Dedicated to the memory of a great federal agency consigned to the ash heap of parody. “If they don't do anything, we don't need their acronym.”
FIRST-TIME CALLER – Preamble often heard on talk radio. “I am serious in asking: who in any universe gives a care?”
PASS THE SAVINGS ON TO YOU! – Marketing catch phrase that became a lost-leader long ago. “Read: Pass the markup along to you.”
97% FAT FREE – Adventures in delusion. “Still has 3% fat . . . accept it.”
AN ACCIDENT THAT DIDN'T HAVE TO HAPPEN – Best-laid mayhem. “This means some accidents need to happen, for whatever reason, I can't figure.”
JUNK SCIENCE – Banished from the Marketplace of Ideas. “It's not scientists who are using this phrase so much as the people who practice junk politics.”
GIT-ER-DONE – (Any of its variations) It's overdone. “There's no escaping it. It's everywhere, from TV to T-shirts,” says Amanda Tikkanen of LaGrange, Ind. “Please tell me when we're done with this one.”
DAWG – No designer breed here. Someone should wash out this Spot. “Even parents are starting to use it!” – complains Mrs. Swartz's Fifth Grade Class in Church Road, Va. “This is species confusion.” – Rob Bowers, Santa Clara, Calif. “Don't call me ‘dawg'! I'm not your pet!” – Michael Swartz, Albuquerque, NM.
TALKING POINTS – Cover your ears! “Topics which will please those you want to impress.” – Michele Mooney believes the phrase was created after PR staffers stopped attending seminars on how to put a positive ‘spin' on their press releases.
HOLIDAY TREE – Many salvoes were fired during this past season's “war on Christmas.” At the risk of jumping into the breach, the committee feels that “Holiday tree” is a silly name for what most folks hold as a Christmas tree, no matter your preference of religion. Thank goodness we all agree on the first day of winter.
In a similar vain, here are a few new phrases we can use in 2006:
----------------------------------
New Phrases for 2006
----------------------------------
Jump the Couch - This phrase is a direct result of Tom Cruises embarrasing visit on the Oprah show. The Historical Dictionary of American Slang defines "jump the couch" as exhibiting "strange or frenetic behavior. It's a play on the famous "Jump the Shark" phrase from Happy Days when the Fonz was going to jump a shark filled tank with his motorcycle.
Spokesweasle - Any reference to an annoying public relations representative.
Floodweiser - The the canned water Anheuser-Busch donated to hurricane victims
I'm BC and I'll BC'ing Ya
And top ten list time.
Here is a list of banned phrases/words from the previous year. Phrases are banished for
- over-use
- mis-use
- plain uselessness. (Whoa! Checkout the s's in that word)
---------------------------------------
Banned phrases from 2005
---------------------------------------
SURREAL – One part opiate of the masses, 13 parts overuse. Oddly, news anchor and television small talk is becoming more surreal. “Dreams are surreal, not daily adjectives.”
HUNKER DOWN – To brace oneself, in anticipation of media onslaught. Trotted out in reports about everything from politics to hurricanes. “I have a hankering to ban all of this hunkering.”
PERSON OF INTEREST – Found within the context of legal commentary, but seldom encountered at cocktail parties. “People with guns want to talk with you.” – Melissa Carroll from Greensboro, NC. “Does this mean the rest of us are too boring to deal with?”
COMMUNITY OF LEARNERS – A five-dollar phrase on a nickel-errand. Value-added into many higher education mission statements. “Not to be confused with ‘school.'”
UP OR DOWN VOTE – A casualty of today's partisanship. No discussion on this one; the committee just tossed a coin. “I see a bright future for ex-senators as elevator operators.”
BREAKING NEWS – Once it stopped presses. Now it's a lower-intestinal condition brought about by eating dinner during newscasts. “Now they have to interrupt my supper to tell me that Katie Holmes is pregnant.”
DESIGNER BREED – Many nominators consider this a bastardization of dog breeding. It may be a good line to use on angry neighbors when an un-neutered dog escapes. “When you mate a miniature schnauzer to a toy poodle, it's not a ‘Schnoodle,' it's a mongrel.”
FEMA – Dedicated to the memory of a great federal agency consigned to the ash heap of parody. “If they don't do anything, we don't need their acronym.”
FIRST-TIME CALLER – Preamble often heard on talk radio. “I am serious in asking: who in any universe gives a care?”
PASS THE SAVINGS ON TO YOU! – Marketing catch phrase that became a lost-leader long ago. “Read: Pass the markup along to you.”
97% FAT FREE – Adventures in delusion. “Still has 3% fat . . . accept it.”
AN ACCIDENT THAT DIDN'T HAVE TO HAPPEN – Best-laid mayhem. “This means some accidents need to happen, for whatever reason, I can't figure.”
JUNK SCIENCE – Banished from the Marketplace of Ideas. “It's not scientists who are using this phrase so much as the people who practice junk politics.”
GIT-ER-DONE – (Any of its variations) It's overdone. “There's no escaping it. It's everywhere, from TV to T-shirts,” says Amanda Tikkanen of LaGrange, Ind. “Please tell me when we're done with this one.”
DAWG – No designer breed here. Someone should wash out this Spot. “Even parents are starting to use it!” – complains Mrs. Swartz's Fifth Grade Class in Church Road, Va. “This is species confusion.” – Rob Bowers, Santa Clara, Calif. “Don't call me ‘dawg'! I'm not your pet!” – Michael Swartz, Albuquerque, NM.
TALKING POINTS – Cover your ears! “Topics which will please those you want to impress.” – Michele Mooney believes the phrase was created after PR staffers stopped attending seminars on how to put a positive ‘spin' on their press releases.
HOLIDAY TREE – Many salvoes were fired during this past season's “war on Christmas.” At the risk of jumping into the breach, the committee feels that “Holiday tree” is a silly name for what most folks hold as a Christmas tree, no matter your preference of religion. Thank goodness we all agree on the first day of winter.
In a similar vain, here are a few new phrases we can use in 2006:
----------------------------------
New Phrases for 2006
----------------------------------
Jump the Couch - This phrase is a direct result of Tom Cruises embarrasing visit on the Oprah show. The Historical Dictionary of American Slang defines "jump the couch" as exhibiting "strange or frenetic behavior. It's a play on the famous "Jump the Shark" phrase from Happy Days when the Fonz was going to jump a shark filled tank with his motorcycle.
Spokesweasle - Any reference to an annoying public relations representative.
Floodweiser - The the canned water Anheuser-Busch donated to hurricane victims
I'm BC and I'll BC'ing Ya
posted by Bernie Corbett at
4:07 p.m.
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